It's Better To Face The Truth
by livingforfiction
Summary: An alternative follow of 4x09. After another argument, somebody comes up in Victoria's life to save her, and show her that after every end, something beautiful can begin.
1. Chapter 1

_**A personal alternative to 4x09. That argument couldn't stay like that!**_

* * *

"I spoke to chief Alvarez"

"After I asked you to leave this alone? After I asked you to trust me?"

"Why should I when you insist on keeping secrets with me?"

"Oh that's very ironic...coming from you. You kept my daughter away from me for weeks."

"I'm not going to explain myself on this again. And this is not about Amanda, this is about us. About how can you can lie to me and demand absolute honesty. Why do you ask me to prove myself over and over again?"

"I've never asked you to prove anything to me."

"You ask me everytime you throw my trust issues to my face, you did it this morning, and you did it twenty years ago."

"I sat ten years in jail alone. What did you prove then? Or did you not know that I was innocent?"

"Of course I knew."

"Then, where the hell were you?"

She couldn't deny he was right. That truth was buried inside of her and no matter how many excuses she tried to put on, it was pointless.

"September 1st, 1993. That date is attached to my memory, I said it to myself over and over, even after it passed and you were in jail. It was the day we were going to take Daniel and Amanda and start our new life together, do you remember?"

"Yes."

"I haven't forgot. I said every time I had to get in bed with a man I hated… Every time I looked into Charlotte's eyes and saw yours. I never stopped trusting you, David. And I'd go with you now, if only you'd ask. Just ask it."

"I'm not going anywhere without my daughter."

Nothing more to say.

"Wait, please" she shot suddenly, like feeling a pressure inside of her telling not to let him go.

She gave those few steps that separated them until she reached him.

"Forgive me, okay? For what I said. You're right, in everything... But please, please just..." This was working. This way of manipulating she had, worked on him even when he knew it was a tactic. "Just don't leave, not again. It was enough of fighting this morning and I can't bear watching how we break each other day after day more."

"We're already broken, Victoria." He started walking away, and her eyes remained to the floor, incapable of accepting what he said. The sound of the door closing took her out of the trance.

And there she stared. To that wood door that survived so many years of so many things. And closed sadly a lot of times. She remembers freshly every single night she left this house with the pain in her heart, with the desire in her soul of never leaving that place and stay with him.

How they got this far? How all became into this mess...

The following hours found her drowned into anguish. She changed the glass of tea for a glass of wine... and that exchange always meant something important. Whether it was good, or bad.

She was starting to feel sleepy, and her eyelids were getting heavier with every minute. But she'd wait for him to come back...

"Still awake?" He asked, walking towards the stairs.

"I was waiting for you" she stood up and started walking behind him.

"It wasn't necessary"

"It was for me... I want us to talk"

"About what?" He entered the bedroom, and she followed him inside closing the door.

"Us."

"Fine. Tell me" He seated on the edge of the bed, and started dressing out to change for sleeping.

"I need to know if you really want to be with me, David"

"What do you mean?"

"Listen to what I'm saying. And look at me!" She raised her voice. He wasn't looking at her and that always made her nerves explode.

She got him to pay visual attention to her. "I know we're not good, okay? We were never since you came back. And probably we will never be again... But I would be able to try" she seated beside him. His gaze became truly honest now. "Just tell me, yes or no. Do you feel anything for me? Do you want us to have something again? Because if you don't, we shouldn't lose more time"

His eyes lowered as if they couldn't look at hers. "That's the problem. A half of my heart still loves you, deeply. But the other half... hates you"

She felt how the tears traveled up her face. "So? What is that supposed to mean?"

"We both know how damage we're doing, Victoria. To ourselves and to each other."

She nodded softly, with her head low and the tears that already came up.

When she lifted her head, noticed that he was in the same position, with the same tears in his face.

"Now I know what you mean. I... I am going to sleep with Louise tonight and... I'll come to pick the clothes that I left here tomorrow."

He didn't answer, just remained there, silent. What she supposed is, that he didn't have the minor intention to stop her. So... she got up and headed to the door.

"Wait" it really surprised her. "Can you stay tonight? Just for the last time."

She laughed softly by incredulity. "You're not serious, right?"

"I am."

"You can't do that. First you say a half of you hates me and then you invite me to stay? What are we gonna do? Talk about the weather, in the state our relationship is?"

He looked at her in silence. "You're right... I'm sorry."

She had just opened the door, but with a sudden movement containing an unstoppable impulse inside, his arm rounded her waist completely and pushed her body against his. Her notoriusly angry breathing was crushing against his lips.

"Let me" she said trying her best to untangle herself from his arms.

"Don't fight, Vee, don't" he hold her the strongest he could.

"Why are you doing this to me? Why to… play with my heart like this?"

"You're not the one who's confused"

"But that doesn't mean I have to stay just to satisfy your wishes. And tomorrow everything will be over between us… Then I am the selfish one, right?"

"You're right"

She was right this time, he had to admit it. But it was like right now, he was talking only because he couldn't leave her talking alone. But actually, he didn't want to let her go… well, half of him.

Maybe he could allow him one last day… before everything that was already broken since years ago, break definitely.

From the other point, she was right, he was being completely selfish. He was only thinking about himself.

"Will you stay or not?"

"Let me." she got to free herself. "See you tomorrow" she threw, hitting right to the half of his heart that still loved her.

She opened the door and left him there, thinking about what just happened.

They deserved a better goodbye, after all these years. Maybe tomorrow they will have it.


	2. Chapter 2

Victoria opened the door of her friend's apartment with the key she had gave her before. She took the highest possible care, in case she was already sleeping.

When she was closing the door slowly, a voice took her in surprise.

"Vic, are you okay?"

She turned around. Louise was already in her bed, which could be seen from the main door because the bedroom door was open.

"Ah, yes, sweetie, I'm fine." She replied to the distance with a smile.

"Come in" she invited. She knew Victoria too well even when there wasn't a year since they met. Something was wrong. "What's wrong?" She asked when she entered the room.

"Ah... nothing. Why should something be wrong?" She tried to disseminate as she sat on the bed.

"Vic, I know you. Something's going on."

"No."

"...Okay, you're definitely not in the mood for talking. Come" she invited her friend clapping the hand beside her in the blankets.

Victoria took her shoes off for the final resting of her feet, and climbed beside her friend.

"Now..." Louise ran a hand across her hair lovingly. "It's a heartache, right?"

Victoria threw her gaze to her, not very surprised. She had this skill of seeing through her eyes.

"Yes" she replied with a sight.

"Does it have solution?"

"Hhmm... I don't think so."

"Oh... why?"

Her eyes said it all. They weren't hiding anymore. They were true.

"We're broken... everything is. It was never fixed, actually... and it's my fault."

"Hey... it's not your fault if things are not right."

"It is, Louise... I ruined any chance we had of being together years ago".

"C'mon, stop blaming yourself, darling... stop hurting you, you have done enough to your soul and conscience... you wanna stay here tonight?"

She lifted her eyebrows, like a child who asks for permission.

"Can I, please?"

"But of course" she offered her a smile. She loved to have her friend as a guest in her home.

"Where do I sleep?"

"Here with me, you want?"

Victoria gave a sweet laugh. "Okay"

"Everything's gonna be fine... don't worry"

"Thank you. But I'm afraid it won't. "

"Okay, okay… Done with the sadness. I'm making coffee. You want?"

"No, thanks." Victoria kept laying down on her stomach.

* * *

Thank God she slept fine. She felt in her mind and eyes that she had a nice sleep.

When she turned around, the red hair of her friend's head appeared in front of her eyes.

She was feeling so warm and comfortable between the thick covers and the blankets beneath her.

So, she had to do something. Some of her clothes were still in his home and… she said she would come back to pick them up.

Did she really wanted to end up all that?... No, she definitely didn't. But she knew they would eventually hurt each other until inner destruction if they stayed like that.

The ghosts of the past were still haunting them.

* * *

"Hi" he received her, and let her get in pinning to the door.

"Hi" she answered the coldest she could, stepping inside. She'd have wanted to say all that she felt. Every single feeling kicking inside of her heart over and over as if it was going to spill itself out of her.

"Can I go up?"

"Yes, sure."

She took the stairs and when she finally entered his room… the memories invaded her. Like something she couldn't control. Memories from every single time they were there, in that house, in that room. God, how damn difficult this was going to be. She had to do it the faster possible so it wasn't a chance for her to break down.

She packed the few more clothes she had left in there, zipped the bag and went downstairs.

"You have everything?"

"Yes." she answered looking at the floor. Not only for not to look at him, but also not to show her pain. She was walking towards the door without even saying goodbye.

"Victoria,..." _DAMN IT._ She turned with the bag in her hand. "You could at least say goodbye"

"I don't want to say it, that's it" she threw it like the best explanation she could give, turned back and opened the door.

"Wait there." he stopped her quickly.

"WHAT?" He wasn't making it easy.

He reached her. And suddenly, his face was almost pressing against hers.

"What do you want? Let me go"

"I can't"

"Cmon"

He grabbed her arm, avoiding her to take the door and leave. "Stop playing the angry cold with me, that doesn't work, I know you're hurt"

"Then if you know I'm fucking hurt why don't you let me go and disappear from your life as you want me to?"

He had no answer for that.

"I don't know what's going on with you but whatever, it's not worth it, let me go"

He knew she was right. And he was able to respect her wish. For some reason, his body didn't react.

She had to shake her arm off of his hand.

"i know you're hurt. And yes, I'm angry… but don't you think we deserve to end this in good terms, like the adults we are?"

"Fine. We are. Everything's good. Now let me go."

He wished he could stop her. And he didn't. He hated her, certainly. But he thought they could end a beautiful time of their lives in a good way.


	3. Chapter 3

"How it went?" Louise asked, with a little hope as her friend entered her apartment.

"Bad." Was the unspecific, dry response from Victoria. She left the bag beside the door and walked towards the couch, where her friend was having breakfast.

"Oh…" She didn't know what else to answer.

"Anyway… Not a surprise." She was completely playing the overcome actress she's been playing her whole life.

Louise lowered her head to try to catch her gaze. "You wanna talk about that?"

"No. But thank you."

A deep sigh escaped from the mouth of the red haired. "Okay. You're gonna eat?"

"Yes, please, I need it." And before she could get up to get her food, her friend was doing the same thing, but stopped her before she could walk.

"No no, stay. I'll bring it."

"Lou, I love you, but you don't have to treat me like that. I feel guilty."

"You're my guest, Vic, end that guilt."

"Okay…As you say."

A few seconds later, she appeared walking out of the kitchen with the glass of tea.

"Yours" she handed her.

"Thank you."

"So…" the girl forced the talk with her two eyebrows lifted.

"So, what? I'm not telling you anything, Louise. Really, I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine. I'll respect it."

"No, you won't" Victoria answered laughing. "Tomorrow, you'll ask me again, until I'm in the mood for talking about it."

"Exactlyyyyyyyyyyyy" she answered with a playful voice, taking a sip of her coffee. "You know what?... I can't allow you to stay here until your crazy heart heals for itself."

"What are you going to do, then?"

"Tonight we're gonna get out of this place, and go to drink something."

"Oh, drink. The greatest medicine of all." she laughed, remembering how many different kinds of effects alcohol have had over her during her whole life.

"Oh c'mon, I'm not getting you drunk or drugging you or something… I just want you to relax, and see something different out of this four walls."

"Okay."

The sudden answer surprised her. "Really? You stubborn said yes at my first attempt? Wow… your heart must be really revolutionized."

"Shut up and eat." she answered with a smile.

* * *

"How's the whiskey?" Louise asked to her friend, who hold the glass in her hand, circling it around the wood bar.

"Wonderful. I needed it."

"You see… and you didn't want to come."

"Okay, now… You're fooling around about MY heart issues, but what about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, darling…" she eyed her with her eyebrows lifted. "I'm older than you, and I know something's going through that young heart."

"Well… there's something, but… nothing very serious."

"Hhmm" she emitted a suspicious sound. "I knew it."

After a while of drinking, talking and trying (unsuccessfully) to lie about their love issues, the night seemed to take another color when the opportune person appeared, walking from Louise's back side.

"Look who I find here!" the male voice coming behind her called their attention.

And when Victoria looked at him, she could actually feel how her pupils dilated and her heart increased her rhythm.

"Dom" she smiled hugely, returned the kiss and the hug he gave her with her arms around his back. "How are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Fine… this is Louise, a friend"

"Hi" he smiled at the girl, and got closer to kiss her cheek. She returned the same kind smile.

The fact that Victoria didn't explain her relationship with him woke suspicions in her. Plus, she saw something in the way they hugged. Like two people who keep a deep fond for each other inside their hearts and haven't seen in a long time. Which, indeed, was the reality.

"So, what are you both doing here?" he asked curiously. Victoria was, from a long time ago, a kind of person that doesn't go to a bar if it's not a serious situation.

"We are… distracting, you know" Louise answered, with a friendly tone. A few seconds, and she already liked him.

"Oh, I see."

"I thought you left." Victoria evacuated her deep doubt existing in her soul since everything happened.

"Yes, I… I did. I was in Europe for a little, but… there's nothing like home."

"Right." she replied.

Louise could notice the way they looked at each other. She saw that they had a lot to talk about, there was an anxious ambient created there.

"I'm going to the bathroom" she said, giving a smile to them, which they reflected.

"So…" he temporarily occupied the girl's seat. "Distracting, ah?"

A truly felt sigh came out from her mouth. "Yes"

"And that sigh?"

"Nothing important"

"I think it is… I still can look into your eyes, Vee. And by the way, you look beautiful"

She smiled tenderly, with her head low. "Thank you" she almost whispered.

"Well, I won't get into what I see it's hurting you. But… I'd like to see you one of these days. I miss you"

His eyes looked so… wonderful. The still powerful eyes.

"I miss you too."

A short silence was fully dedicated to dig their gazes into each other.

"I'll let you both… but I hope to see you again soon."

"You will, don't worry. Where are you living?"

"In the same place before the disaster came, dear."

She laughed. Bittersweet memories.

"Okay. I'll find you."

"And If I want to find you? I guess you're not living in that creepy cave anymore"

"Ah, well, not completely… I'm turning between the cave and Louise's apartment."

"Good, then…" he stood up, and pressed his mouth against her forehead. "We'll meet soon, darling."

"Yes" she smiled, looking up at him, until he turned around and left.


	4. Chapter 4

Victoria couldn't sleep. With anything.

It wasn't strange, after all, that she had this issues. She had insomnia since she was a teenage. For what happened in the last days, for the confusion in her mind, the pain in her heart,... ' _God knows what'_ she tried to give herself an answer.

She wasn't even sleepy, even when she had drank alcohol (quite of it) that night.

By her side, Louise was sleeping as if nothing. _"He moved something inside of you, didn't he?"_ she said to her on the way back home. She wasn't sure of what she answered at all. Actually, she knew she was lying terribly. The same that she knew Louise realized it… _"Maybe"_ she replied. Maybe.

She had spent half of her life in a constant pain. Suffering for one thing or another, whether it was her concern or somebody else's. Any time she had a chance of being happy, something or somebody took it away from her. The only joy life had gave her had been her children… even when two of them despised her and the other one left her.

For some reason, she had to find Dominik that night… it was enough with the heartache still fresh in her soul, and now somebody with the same moving power came out. And in a bar, how ironic… They had spent a lot of their time together in bars.

And, yes… She loved him. She loved Dominik and she wasn't going to deny it. The fact that she had loved other people too didn't mean that the inconclusive story they had never came through her mind as a beautiful tale which could have ended better.

He had a lot of those things that melted her then and melted her now too. The pampers in the morning and the night, the 'You look beautiful today', a kiss in her forehead or that hugs that made her melt in peace when she was broken. When the demons in her inside poisoned her soul with sadness and made her think she didn't value and wasn't worth it. _"You mean the world for me, precious."_ he said to her once, and she never forgot it. _"Please, don't leave just like that, Victoria"_ he said when she told him she was marrying Conrad. _"He doesn't love you."..._ And it's today that she realized he was right.

And when they met again a few years ago in that bar… they only spent two days together (actually, a day and a half) and she didn't have the time she would have wanted to tell him that. He was right.

And she never denied that he loved her. Because every time she looked into his eyes, she saw light in them. A glow that blossomed only when he looked at her.

He loved to watch her do anything… sometimes she noticed he was staring at her while she was dressing up. Or making breakfast. Or just sleeping… the love he professed for her was, definitely, the strongest and most powerful one he had felt.

* * *

"Ah, memories…" she sighed with a smile, once they got into his apartment.

"Beautiful memories" he added, practically sighing. His body pressed to hers, in a fond way. "I cannot tell you how nice is to look straight to your eyes again".

Whatever she was feeling inside didn't let her answer. It also seemed like she didn't have nothing to say, which indeed, according to her mind she had. But she knew they didn't need to talk to understand each other.

"You're not in the mood for talking?"

"No, it's just… " A sudden something stopped right there, she knew she had no answer. "Let me look at you in silence for a little more."

He smiled at her sweetness. "Now you can't deny that meeting with me again caused you something."

"I'm not going to."

"Oh, thank God…" he celebrated closing his eyes in a relieved expression.

"You seem pretty excited for seeing me."

"You're not serious, right?..." He smiled not to give the situation a serious tone.

She was looking at him as if she were spilling the words without thinking.

"You are the love of my life, Victoria. And you've always been. I thought about you every single day since I left."

"Oh, really… you're saying you didn't meet anybody in this time?"

"Yes, of course I have. A lot of women that I really liked. They were pretty. But just that, a pretty face. There was nothing I could have with them because everything I wanted I could always have it with you."

She thought she was going to melt right now, right there, her legs were going to collapse and she would bury into his arms and ask him never to let her go.

"You don't believe me?"

"I do" she said quickly. She didn't need more.

"Really?"

She nodded carefully. "Yes…" she said, and didn't give him a chance to talk. Her lips opened and trapped him. It felt like she was coming back home after a long, long trip…

Finally. He could have her again. And he hoped with all he had that this time, it could last. They way it must have been since a lot.

"Don't get too excited. We're not gonna make love or something." She teased him.

"Damn you." he laughed, and his mouth tasted hers over again. "Don't tempt me."

"Tempt you to what?"

"To carry you to my room"

She emitted a sweet perverse laugh. "You wish. I won't allow you to."

"I'm a man. I'm stronger than you. I can do it of I want."

"However I know you wouldn't. You would never hurt me purposely"

"Exactly... So if you won't give me the pleasure of making love with you... at least tell me you're going to stay tonight."

A hard breath came out through her mouth, crashing against his upper lip. "You know, I... I think I reconsidered it..."

"Reconsider it like how?"

"Like, ah… " she separated from him, and started walking away in a complete random direction. When she was a few steps away, the skin in her left shoulder appeared in front of his eyes, when she pulled one of the strips of her dress down slowly. A pair of brown deep eyes looking at him, a smile lighting his heart with happiness and she kept walking. Walking anywhere.

The love of his life and him.


	5. Chapter 5

"I missed you…"

A light moan sounded through her throat, and a smile melted by love drew up on her face. "Me too… I thought I had lost you forever."

"Thank God you didn't" he took the flesh of her lips inside his mouth.

She could convincingly say that she loved him. Yes, of course she could… but in that moment, there was something passing through her which reminded her to David. And she hated that second when she suddenly pushed him away, and found her there, standing against the wall half naked.

"Vic, what's wrong?" he approached her, searching for her lost gaze down her head lowered.

"Nothing, I just don't feel good…" she stopped those few seconds to try to explain him what was going on without having to speak. Her gaze tried, she tried to say that she was sorry.

A hand traveled down her cheek slowly, letting her feel the smoothness of his skin.

"Do you want to talk about something?...What has you like that?"

Almost without noticing it, two lonely tears watered her cheeks, tears that he catch with his fingers.

"I don't want to talk about that" she sighed, as trying to wipe away the pain that the words carried.

"Okay" he got it. He knew her probably better than she knew herself. He grabbed her from the waist, and guided her to his bed.

"Sit" he said. He walked a few steps to the closet, and took one of the long wide shirts he uses when he paints.

He kneeled in front of her. "Will you stay?"

"If you invite me" she smiled shyly, like someone who wants to hide pain… she was tired of hiding. She needed happiness.

He smiled at her answer. "Then you're staying… You like these, right?" He showed her the shirt.

"Of course I do" her eyes enlightened, and she grabbed it with such fond love that he wanted to be there with her forever.

"I can't see those little eyes like that."

"It's nothing important, don't worry."

"That won't be possible."

She sighed. "Give me that shirt, Dominik"

He delivered it, and felt how his heart trembled for her, terribly as always. "I love when you put yourself in the bossy mood." He knew he would make her laugh, and it worked. He always did. There was something in him, which make more funny the way he said things than what he actually said.

"You and your way of fixing me…"

He just contemplated her while she unclasped her bra, placed it on the corner of the bed, and got her body inside the already known fabric.

"You should wear these everyday"

"I wish to"

He directed his head down, and kissed her thigh pinning himself to the idea of never having to separate from her again.

"I'm sorry for the pain I caused you" she said.

"It's over… you don't have to."

"No, I do… "

"Okay, I accept it. Can you leave that behind now?"

"I'll try."

A lovely silence set up between both for seconds.

"Did you eat something?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

"Since you know me, you know that I won't let you go to sleep without eating."

"No, Dom, really…"

He quickly tried to convince her. "A tea, you want?... Just a glass."

She smiled, it killed her how much he cared about her. "...Okay" she whispered.

And he stood up, kissed her forehead slowly, and warned her. "Get into bed, and DON'T FALL ASLEEP." She laughed. "If I find you asleep, I'll collect it myself tomorrow"

"And how would that be like?"

"You don't want to know." he smiled, and got out of the room.


	6. Chapter 6

"Now… you want to tell me what happened?"

"With what?" she asked.

"With your heart"

"What do you mean?"

"I see pain in your eyes, Vic…"

"It's nothing" she smiled trying to fake, but unsuccessfully.

"I don't believe you…" he got closer and kissed her nose playfully.

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"Do you think it will heal avoiding the subject?"

"Yes."

"Okay then… I won't ask again."

The morning was beautiful. The light warming sun entered the apartment through the big crystals behind them.

Spring was a wonderful season. Not too much heat, or too much cold.

She was lying down above his bed beside him, and where her chest ended, her arms leaned against his abdomen, and her hands supported her head. She looked at him with a sweet melancholic something. "What do we do now?" she asked.

"You've always got bored easily."

"In which sense?" she smiled.

"You must know… What do you want to do from now on?"

She sighed and saved silence. "I'm confused now… in a lot of ways. But if you're unsure of what I feel for you, just don't."

"Okay" he knew there was more to come.

"And nobody can get between us now" she rested her head above him.

His hand caressed her hair with the purest of the loves in his heart. He never forgot her, even when he tried and he had to assume that she was gone.

"You don't know how happy my heart is."

She lifted her head and dedicated him one of those smiles from her that would make anybody melt.

"God, that smile… It was hard for me not to be able to see it everyday when I woke up. I tried to keep it fresh in my memory"

"You won't need to anymore" She moved up his body and seated above his hips. She leaned over his chest, and slowly, enjoying the lost feeling, she kissed him. She kissed him and melted.

She was so unused to this simple, unpredictable life that she was just now realizing how much she lost for once wrong decision. _"You won't be happy, Victoria"_ he told her when she was leaving.

"I love you" she whispered to his ear.

"Me too. But I win"

She laughed softly in front of him, and his desires were shot to everywhere.

He grabbed her by her waist, and pushed himself forward, until she was leaning on her back and he had her trapped beneath.

They locked eyes for seconds, and he started kissing her suddenly. He wished he could eat her mouth because that's what he wanted to do.

His left hand hold her hip and the other one traveled up her left arm, until he found her hand and intertwined it with his.

He lifted her head, and watched her there… her gaze was lost, weak, her eyelids about to close because of the feeling of his weight above her. Her black hair spread above the blankets, the air running through her throat at a race speed.

She looked like a true goddess. She was born like that.

"You're staring, Dom"

"Do I bother you?"

"No" she said between sighs. "I found it adorable...I just don't know why"

"Because you're still the same perfection you have always been."

"My body is not the same… I'm not 25 anymore"

"I know that. Of course it's not but it's still beautiful. As your face…"

She laughed at his compliment. He was always so damn sweet, how could he? She haven't had this in so much time… She had to admit that except Conrad, she loved every man in her life in her own way. Each one of them had their good, and their bad. But they all made her feel special. Like a queen.

"You're not behind" she said.

"Do you think I look that good?" he smiled.

"Maybe…"

"I didn't do anything for it."

"Maybe it was the love that kept you alive everyday."

"That would be the only thing."

"You know… " she seated beside him, wrapped with the blankets. "Some people say you become more beautiful if you have children."

"My bad." Both laughed.

And then, it invaded her. The guilt again… another more. Maybe this was the time… years had passed and she still felt this knot in her throat.

"Dom, about that… I need to tell you something."

"Of course."

"Do you remember then… three months before I left, that I went to the doctor twice in a week from nowhere and I didn't want to tell you why?"

"Yes… you really worried me."

She sighed. "I… I got pregnant, Dom."

"What?... you… Are you serious?"

"Yes… please don't get angry"

He swallowed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't… I found out, and I was so happy. And you were out of the city so I wanted to wait for you to come back to tell you. And when you came back, I… I had lost it, Dom. I'm sorry."

He hugged her firmly against him. "Okay… I'm really, really angry. But calm down"

"I'm sorry, I swear… I just didn't want to load more pain above you"

"It was my child, Vic… I had the right."

"Yes, you're right and I just realized it years later"

"Do you know how many times I dreamed about… waking up, looking beside me and seeing you, with your abdomen growing, knowing that I was half of it?"

She believed that he was angry, but he was hugging her. That was a good sign, she thought.


	7. Chapter 7

"You don't know how much I thank God for having met you." she whispered into his ear. With that silky fragile voice that he loved, while both of her hands played around with his hair, matting and squeezing it.

"Why is that?"

"You're different."

"Different how?"

She sighed. With that playful look exploring around the wood of the roof while she looked for the accurate expression. "I've met… several kinds of person in these years. A lot. And none of them I had liked."

"And what makes me different?"

"Oh, c'mon. You know you are not like all the people that I surround myself with. You really enjoy life…"

He didn't answer. Instead he swallowed, as if something got stuck into his throat.

"What?" she asked.

"How?"

"What were you going to say."

"Nothing."

"That's not true."

"Why do you think that?"

"I know you."

He contemplated those brown eyes pleasantly deep. "If I tell you, I want you to tell me something back."

"Okay." she whispered, while one of her hands traveled down his neck.

"I was going to ask you… that if you found me that way, if you really thought I know what enjoying life really is… Why did you leave?"

Her face got tense. He noticed it. But it wasn't tense as she is when she puts limits to her daughter or when she is forced to confront an awful situation. She feels guilty.

"And the other question… what is it?"

"Was that baby really mine?"

"What?" she asked, confused. She didn't expect this at all.

But he didn't answer. She didn't have a choice of running out.

This time, it was her the one who swallowed.

"I left because I was confused. I thought that I felt something for him… and I considered it enough good to pretend that I could handle a whole new life as someone I never was. We were not good in that time… We used to argue a lot. Most of all because of money... "

"I get it."

"And I will regret that decision my whole life. It became my life a nightmare... "

"And?"

"Do you suspect the pregnancy that I talked you about was somebody else's?"

"I have my doubts. You were already seeing him."

"It wasn't his, Dominick. It was yours and I'm sure of it."

He kept staring. "Please, talk. I don't like silences." She slowly lowered her head and cuddled it under his chin. "You don't believe me, right?"

"I don't know, Victoria. I don't know."

"Dom, it's over. It sounds awful, I know… but we have to get through this. It's a child and I know what it is to lose one."

"You talk as if it was easy."

"Of course it's not."

"Why… are you so sure the baby was mine?"

She sighed. It was pretty clear that she didn't want to keep talking about this, but he needed it. She truly owed him an explanation.

"Simply because of dates. The time that I was last with you and the time that I was with him just didn't fit with the time of pregnancy that I had."

"And how much was that?"

"5 weeks when I found out."

"Right." He said.

She noticed this something in his voice. She knew it perfectly and even so much years far away from him couldn't erase that from her senses.

"What is it?" She asked.

"What?"

"Something is bothering you."

"It's nothing."

She sighed. "It must be late. Why are we still in bed?"

"What is late for you?" He said with the calm that was so common in him. The calm that she adored.

"I don't know" she giggled. "What time is it?" without even turning around, she stretched her left arm behind her to find her watch. _10:15._

"So?" he asked.

"No. Absolutely not." she smiled , and opened her arms wide to press her body against him.


End file.
